Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I was in relationships with the people I can’t get with, whether it’s because they’re straight, or in a relationship, aren’t attracted to me, or any combination of those things.
It wouldn’t really be a relationship, it would be a figment of my imagination. But I do wonder sometimes what making love to them would be like. Or even what waking up and eating breakfast with them would be like. And what’s painfully odd about those dreams is that I have no way to actually confirm or deny if I’m right.
Sometimes I worry that if I enter a relationship, I’d have to learn to learn to compromise. All relationships involve compromise, I guess. In my tutoring jobs, we call them “working solutions.” Maybe there isn’t a solution for some things in relationships, and I’d just have to accept that if I think the relationship is worth it.
I wonder if the people I’m attracted to ever think about these things. I wonder if they feel the same way as me, so they never have successful relationships because they put too much pressure on their significant others. Even if we’re not together, at least we’d have stuff in common.